Electile Dysfunction

Hello, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about E.D.
More and more these days, people are finding that their ability
to poke holes in things is being corrupted by an insidious disorder
called Electile Dysfunction.
But what exactly is Electile Dysfunction you may ask...and how
does it work? Simply put, Electile Dysfunction or E.D. is a
medical problem in which the effected individual is rendered
incapable of determining the difference between one candidate
and another on a basic voting ballot.

The warning signs of this disorder are as follows:
1.) Blurred vision
2.) Incoherent babbling on even the most basic of issues
3.) A tendency toward socialism
4.) A painful rectal sensation in anyone who has to listen to them talk

E.D. is most prominent in the south-eastern United States, but
seems to be spreading throughout North America at an alarming rate.
Sadly, there is no cure for E.D., but there is hope!
Many experts now believe that ice water enemas may slow the
progression of this most disquieting affliction. Someone you know
may already have fallen into the despair of Electile Dysfunction.
Please join me in attempting to find a cure for E.D. today. Your
fellow countrymen and women are counting on you.
To make donations, send cashier's checks or money orders to:
The Orlando Association for the Study and Treatment of Electile
Dysfunction (TOASTED)
P.O. Box 300
Orlando, FL
12345